Being a couple, to me, means learning to grow and accept one another. Knowing you have faults and your partner has faults. And learning to live with those faults. My mother always used to say ‘A leopard never changes its spots.’
And she was right!
So it amazes me how some people try to change another person. And because that person refuses to change, they are the one at fault. The fault lies with the person who is trying to change you. Not you!
If you can’t stand a persons faults, it is simple walk away. Don’t try to make a person something they are not.
You can’t pick a rose and change its scent. So why would you expect to pick a partner and change their character?
Isn’t this what dating is all about? Learning to get to know each other! Faults and all. And if you can’t stand that person’s faults, walking away and setting that person free to find someone who will love them for who and what they are, is the adult thing to do. Not make them commit to a relationship and them nag them to change.
So why is it, once you start living together do people think then it is OK to try to change a person? I can’t understand it.
If people want to change, it has to be because they want to change. Not because some person is telling them they must change. Or else.
I am a firm believer that over time we learn to live together, we accept one another’s faults and one of the faults of him-indoors, is his lack of romanticism. No amount of my nagging will ever turn him into a sop that will throw petals on the floor and light the scented candles, when I have a bad day.
And if he did, he probably knows deep down I’ll be thinking, ‘That’s another pile of shit I’ve got to clean up.’ Believe me ladies. If they do throw down the petals I can guarantee it will be you who will be cleaning up the mess.
I am a firm believer that eventually, your true self will emerge. Just like the clip from Love Actually when the Prime Minister first meets Natalie. No matter how hard she tried to impress the new Prime Minister, her true self shone through.
A person is who they are and we should accept that person for who they are. We should love that person faults and all. Not in a million years should we try to change them. And neither condemn them when they don’t change. You are who you are!! So!!