You don’t have to have had Covid …in order to suffer!!!

Here in the UK July 19th was herald as Freedom Day… The day when you didn’t have to social distance, wear your mask, and the day you life started again just like it was pre March 2020.

But it wasn’t freedom day… you still can’t go to the US or other countries on holiday. You still have to wear masks on public transport. Your freedoms were not given back to you.. You didn’t go back to Pre March 2020. You are stuck in a time-loop of never-ending restrictions.

And the places abroad where you can travel too.. you go with running the fear that at any time during your holiday that country could be placed on the red or amber list. How is that a feckin holiday, when you are living with such fears?

Many people across this world have lost their lives to Covid. Is seems that in the least 16 months… nobody died of anything but Covid, according to the main stream media and Government advisors/ministers.

For 16 months the MSM and the Government have had us running away in fear of Covid… frightened to do this, frightened to do that… Frightened that we may die and put the NHS under complete strain that it will collapse and we are all doomed then.

But do you know what? You don’t have to have had Covid in order to suffer. Many people have suffered with mental health. Many people have not seen family for months… Social bubbles were formed by the Government at one stage… but that was only for people who were single.

You couldn’t visit your family in a care home… being told that your grandkids hugs could kill you. Not seeing your first grandchild… or even visiting your partner/family in hospital… added to Covid depression.

What don’t these scientists get? Mental health is a terrible disease and a struggle to deal with. Covid has impacted many people’s mental health without even testing positive for the diesease

Mine included!

It has made me more of a recluse. Believe it or not… I am not the outgoing person I once was… I feel miserable and in this deep depression, fearing that things are never going to return back to how they were.

I had a passion, once, for photography… but now that has gone. Picking up a camera, even when in a wheelchair cos I couldn’t walk at the time, gave me a sense of enjoyment and worth.

But now… I feel nothing… I couldn’t be bothered if I never clicked the shutter again.

I had dreams.. once my hip was replaced I know I suffered with PMR/Fibro I would be free to go places, without excruciating pain.

But now, I’m finding myself now having to force myself to do something I was once so enthusiastic in doing. Not being able to go to places, has now turned into I can’t be arsed to go to places. How sad is that?

When you suffer from immune diseases like PMR and Fibromyalgia, like I do, which can cause depression… depression from the effects of Covid can impact you so much more… that I think you just start to shut down and just can’t be bothered to do things.

I once was lucky in one way because I was a strong person who has always had the attitude ‘Give yourself a kick up the arse and get motivated’. But even that attitude is waning.

Some people are not like that… so the effects of Covid Depression must make them feel like they are losing the will to live. But that strongness from within me, that I so relied on… is slowly diminishing. It is edging away under the disguise of Covid related stresses and strains.

It’s strange isn’t it… the first few weeks of lockdown … somehow seemed fun… it was like a holiday at home… the old man home, getting those DIY jobs done. Then the deep dark reality began to sink in. This is not a holiday, this is real-life. Then you found yourself surrounded by the financial worries of when the heck were you going back to work. The financial impact of staying home started to kick in. Yes the lovely furlough scheme… that didn’t quite give you the 80% of your wages.. the Government capped it at £2500 a month before tax and NI.

When you earn more than that a month, you tend to live to your means.. then having months on end of being on furlough pay and getting into debt sinks in. The prospect of losing your home or job or your business adds to the impact of Covid and the Covid Lockdown.

Many people were laid off… firms closed… never to return. High street shops closed. Job losses were abundant and left people now having more to deal with… the bleak future of being unemployed and living on Universal Credit.

As months went on… you found yourself just surviving… not living, just going from one day to the next, without going nowhere. Slowly sinking in huge debts… no prospects of work and then finding your only saviour is food-banks

My family were lucky… yes it was a strain when he was on furlough but being in construction, meant for us, he returned to work early… as the construction industry kept going in England… but that added fears to your life.

Especially when travelling to and fro London which had one of the highest infection rates and having to use public transport to get to and fro work.

The fear of is Covid going to be brought into this house.. and how do we cope if we get it and how do we cope if we are continually being forced to self-isolate? Knowing full well that we couldn’t afford to live on £91 a week SSP.

Everything seemed a worry!

You lived through tiers of restrictions… until the point where you were given some freedoms and then they were whisked away again as quick as they came.

You were promised a Christmas and then a few days before.. denied it.

You never got the chance to live your life in full… but you were full! Full of stress, full of loneliness, full to the brim of hearing ‘next slide please’. Full to the point where if even dared to go out for a ride to shake of the depression, you feared being fined.

You saw those in power disobeying the rules they were enforcing.

Here we are 16 months on… and still restricted… and now threatened with the prospect that your life will never return to how it was unless you get jabbed. You won’t be able to go here and there unless you prove you’ve been jabbed. Even to the point you could lose your job if you don’t get jabbed.

We have had freedom day… and I am beginning to feel ‘freedom day’ is just the ‘carrot in front of the donkey’ mantra. Promise us this, promise us that and then sub-consciously prepare us for another winter lockdown. Cos that is what is happening.

We are being prepared yet again, for a winter of discontent. Places being closed, businesses going down the pan… families suffering hardship. Job losses… a promise of Xmas that never comes.

Of course my heart goes out to all those families that lost loved ones to Covid.. but now the questions need to be answered. How many did actually die from Covid without having any underlying health issues? Not how many died within 28 days of testing positive.

How many more months have we got to be restrained? How long before the scientists force the Government’s hand into ordering another lockdown? These are the fears of living with Covid… we’ve been promised freedom and then had it snatched away from us, so quickly, that we’ve had little chance of taking a breath in-between changing policies enforced by those in power.

You don’t have had to have had Covid itself to suffer from its effects… It’s affecting me and I wonder how many more people it is affecting? Is it you? Are you suffering from the long term effects of Covid without even having had Covid?

And above all do you see an end to this pandemic? … Cos I don’t and that is what is making me so damn miserable.

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